I was bored and thought this up. SCHOOL IS DRIVING ME NUTSACKS.

1. You shall have no other genres before it!

No listening to American/British/Chinese/Taiwanese/Korean/Thai/Cantonese/Whatever other language music! Jpop is the one and only way!

2. You shall not make for yourself a fake genre!

Like Anime. Anime is not a freaking genre of music! Anime is a CARTOON. SINFUL ALL YOU ANIME-TAGGERS! SINFUL!

3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of Jpop!

No saying you like Jpop just to get into the pants of that Japanese girl! (Exceptions given if the girl is from H!P and if the "girl" looks suspiciously like a JE boy.)

4. Observe every Wednesday with reverence!

It's the day when all Jpop singles/albums come out! WHAT OTHER DAY CAN BE MORE IMPORTANT! STALK THE ORICON CHARTS RAWR!

5. Honor your father and mother!

In this case it's father and father. You can choose between Max Matsuura, Tsunku and Johnny Kitagawa. We know you hate them three most of the time, but let's face it. Without them, there'd be not much Jpop to go crazy over.

6. You shall not kill precious Jpop time with frivolous things!

No eating, drinking, watching anything, reading anything, studying, showering and all that! LISTEN TO JPOP 24/7! RAWR! (So now you know, I'm a stinky old man with a beard that reaches the floor and armpit hair braids.)

7. You shall not commit adultery!

Which means if you like Ayumi, STICK TO HER. Jumping ship is just skanky. Unless it's Kumi you're jumping to. Then I approve. *nods*

8. You shall not steal!

If someone else has AKame or RyoPi as their OTP, no stealing that away from them! GO FIND YOUR OWN OTP! (Mine's Shuta X Urata, Osamu X Uchi and Kamei x Kato BTW. SHOO.) No stealing of other people's weird fandoms!

9. You shall not bear false witness against a Jpop star!

No spreading rumors like Leah Dizon is getting marrie.. oh wait. I meant no spreading rumors like Ohno and Nino are fuc.... Oh wait.

Ah you get what I mean.

10. You shall not want your neighbour's Kpop stuffs!

Although the boys are hot with sexy-as-hell bodies and great dance moves and appear on cracktastic shows, YOU SHOULD STILL JUST STICK TO JPOP. EVEN IF IT IS BORING. BECAUSE YOU ARE A JPOP FAN!

(Disclaimer: I did not write this, it came mailed mysteriously to me in a big red envelope with Akanishi Jin's uchiwa stuck to the back of it. Akanishi is watching me NOOOOOOOO! In fact, I do not follow any of these. Except 1, 7 and 9 that is. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't either. RAWR!)

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