Raid My Minibar: Don't get laid. Get Raid.


Meet the new AAA
Sunday, July 5, 2009

It's been a LONG while since I've last posted something that didn't relate to Q4R or SQS. Much due to work, as I've already explained to death.

Anyways, you guys should know about my bold declaration that I think AAA is going to break up. Well, my theory might be wrong but either way, AAA is no longer going to be the AAA of the past. Even if they DO remain and not "break up", I think they'd be doing different things on their own and have practically no relation to each other until they release a single or album or have a concert.

Much like how Tackey & Tsubasa works.

So yes, the old AAA that we love is gone and will never come back. So everyone, meet the new AAA:



I think the concept they were going for is.... disasters and eyeliners.

And yes, there are solo shots for us to make fun of so YAY! I'm also helping them think of new nicknames, since they're like going to be "all-new" and stuff. And I'm trying not to be too original since Jpop isn't too fond of original anyways.

[Nishijima Takahiro aka ANTI (Geddit? NT? HAHA. I'm so smart.)]



*Gets hypnotized by his shirt*

..... Woah.

Anyways, why do they always have to make him look plastic and stoned? Is that really sexy?

Oh wait, I think that's why they think blow up dolls are sexy... Maybe I'm just been misguided all this while. Hmm.

The nude lipstick is not helping matters either. The eyeliner is making his eyes look HUGE, kind of like Furby...



Furby

Too freaky.

[Urata Naoya aka NOW]



Well, I'm not sure what to put my attention on first. Is it the leather half gloves? Is it that huge button on his right sleeve? Or perhaps it's his stringy disheveled hair.

Meanwhile, my senses are being distracted by how untoned his chest is (come on, if you want to show it off, at least have SOMETHING to show off) and his very sad eyebags. Yes, spend all the photoshop money on ANTI, let the old guy look old. Who cares anyways?

And is that a ROMPER he is wearing?



Yes, I had to censor the picture a bit. Her bits were rather... clingy to the romper.

Anyways, A ROMPER? ONLY GIRLS (and babies, and baby girls) WEAR ROMPERS. NOT NEARING MIDDLE-AGED MEN (or young men who look like they're nearing middle-aged).

I wonder how complicated is his new persona going to be. "Oh hey everyone, I'm NOW and that means I live in the now. I know, I'm so cool and all. But I'm so tired of life and I have so much problems and the only way I can get rid of my problems is through leather and S&M and crossdressing like a young girl."

Hmm, I think I like the new him already. *nods*

[Uno Misako aka MISS]



"HI EVERYONE! I'm MISS and... *left boob balloon bursts* OH FUCK. I mean, oh darn. TEEHEE. Look at my right boobie please? Not enough for you? OH OKAY HERE'S MY LEFT ARMPIT TOO. *pouts*"

Lopsided boobs will definitely catch the attention of those right-boob-fetishists.

[Hidaka Mitsuhiro aka HERO]



Honestly, I dropped my jaw and gaped at this catastrophe for about 20 seconds before I could gather my thoughts.

You know what he looks like? A rapist. A rapist with bad fashion sense. Who rapes young boys. And the netted top with an undershirt with FAKE ABS SHADOWS? HOW SAD IS THAT?

And the hair. Sigh. He looks like a rebel with that hair, which is fine and all... if you're 14. GROW THE DAMN UP AND GET A SENSE OF STYLE PLEASE.

[Atae Shinjiro aka ZERO]



Oh Atae, are they trying to turn you into a sexy beast?

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. YOU'VE GROWN UP WELL, THEY'VE TURNED YOU GAY!

And are they forcing you to show off your undies too? Smart of you to make it all gray so that it's not so obvious... you're such a tease. Mmm. Come to me and I'll pay you well for your... nocturnal services. *winks*

Oh by the way, he's legal now so you can lust over his young and tender body now. Isn't life great?

[Sueyoshi Shuta aka SHOOTER]



I must admit, my aunt Maggie had a part in SHOOTER's styling - she lent him her wig. She thought it would give him more texture and diversity.

SHOOTER's style is very much inspired by - you guessed it - a shooter. The silk scarf is for him to cover his face (and wig, if necessary) when on the move. An all black ensemble means he can hide in the shadows, or at funerals with important grieving families. The silk shirt is great when the girl (or guy) wants to have an after shoot shoot, if you know what I mean. *smirk*

Doesn't he look stunning?

[Ito Chiaki aka I.C]



Fans of I.C will from hereon chant their new I.C cheer, which goes like this:

"O.I.C! O.I.C! O.I.C! O.I.C! O.I.C!"

Enchanting.

But really, I.C looks pretty. I would have liked her look better if I hadn't been scared silly by her bottom eyelash extensions.

GUH, IT'S COMING TOWARDS ME. NOOOOOO!

So do you like the new AAA?

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