Raid My Minibar: Don't get laid. Get Raid.

Not only is he bitchy, he gives advice too!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Jpop celebrities go through a lot daily in their hectic lifestyle, so I felt it was my duty to help solve some of their problems they may have. I mean, I am a very good advisor after all. *nods*

Dear Raid,

Recently on our show Haromoni@, we have been doing nothing but sitting around and watching silly videos. I feel that I am letting my fans down. What should I do to let the producers know what I can contribute to the show and help bring the show to greater heights?

Your truly,

Dear Junjun,

Suck more bananas.

Yours sincerely,

Dear Raid,

I woke up this morning, took a good look at myself in the mirror and saw hideous dark circles around my eyes! It is then I realized that I am working too hard and I need a break. How should I tell my company?

Help me please.
Nakashima Mika

Dear Mika,

Perhaps you might want to consider removing your eye make-up before going to sleep next time.

No need to thank me.

Dear Raid,

I do not know how to tell him that I want children. What should I do?

Yours faithfully,
Koda Kumi

Dear Kuu-chan,

Not sure how to help you, but I'm thinking you should tell him quick. After all, you're turning 35 in a few more years and we all know what happens to your motherly liquids at 35.


Dear Raid,

I feel ignored lately. What should I do?

Hamasaki Ayumi

Dear Hamas...


Dear Raid,

Everyone like thinks I'm like gay, and I'm like totally like not. And I really find it really you know, insulting that people think of me this way and like, how can they think of me in that way! I feel like crying all the time. And also! Recently...

(letter has been edited for brevity)

Yours with loads of sparkles and you know, the good stuff,

Dear Ken,

I really like, can't figure out why people think of you that way. Totally.

Loads of love and the good stuff,

Dear Raid,

I am losing too much hair for my own good.

Urata Naoya

Dear Urata,

What hair?



I feel so accomplished. I might actually have a career in this!

On an off-topic note, I've bought myself a new bottle of cologne! My previous one ran out so it was high time to choose a new one. And this is what I chose:

Tommy Hilfiger!

And I'm kind of impressed with how that photo turned out. Man, I am just finding so many career opportunities for myself.

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